Sex is serious business. Or the way I write about it, I make it sound so. But is it really?
Remember the fun days when you did not know when it was coming next and that added to the excitement? Well, after marriage, and after kids, the guessing game is still there, but it is more mundane. And it is not that easy anymore to turn a woman on.
How to turn a woman on
It is easier for guys to get aroused quickly. It is in their nature. For women, it is a bit more difficult. And needless to say, sex is no fun at all if one of you is not that into it. So, here are some quick tips to get your woman in the mood!
1# Send her a morning sext
You should always message your wife at 9:48 am. It is scientifically proven that whatever she reads at that time gets stuck in her mind. Okay, I just made it up. But this is the time when she is already in the office and has dealt with her pile of urgent emails. This is kopi time, so her mind is a bit less burdened.
So send her a “how are you, did you reach safely?”. And in the conversation, quickly slip in an “I want to make you come thrice tonight…”. But do deliver on the promise. She will have the whole day looking forward to the night!
2# Get rid of the kids for the night
Send them to bed early or just pack them off to the grandparents. Whatever works! Getting the kids out of the way makes sex sexier as they are a constant reminder of what sex can lead to!
3# Do the dishes
There is nothing that turns on a woman more than a guy who isn’t shy to scrub the dishes. If you are feeling adventurous, cook as well. Here is a recipe so simple that even babies can make it. And it does not make you feel bloated, so what follows after is not uncomfortable.
For the night (and if possible, always), be the perfect gentleman and not fart/burp in front of her. And if you want to, make it funny at the least!
5# Get a good wine
Go for a good white wine to go with the pasta. Or if she is not sure about wines, a Moscato never fails. Just make sure that you do not start on an empty stomach, otherwise, it will be difficult to follow through, if you know what I mean!
If you are as bad as Monica at giving massages, here are three spots that are always sore.
The first rule of a massage is, don’t make it painful. The objective is to turn a woman on by making her relax, so use
- Fingers for lower pressure
- Thumbs for moderate pressure
- Side of the palm for deep pressure
DO NOT use elbows or knees for giving a massage. This is not wrestling.
The second rule is lubrication. Use warm baby oil or special massage lubes. Trust me, this is hot stuff.
With these rules in mind, gently (or deeply) massage the three points starting with the neck. Do it in dim lights for a better effect.
7# Take the party to the bedroom
Or any other place you fancy. Just make sure you are there before you start.
8# Choose the right music
Light instrumental or heavy metal, snoop into her phone if you don’t know what she digs. Playing her music relaxes her much faster than even general anaesthesia.
Women are more than what pornography has taught you. Use your instinct and have a long intimate foreplay to turn a woman on.
10# Give her an orgasm to start with
Use your fingers, tongue, teeth, and lips to get her the first of the three orgasms that you promised her in the morning. Do this before even undressing. Be gentle, attentive, and innovative. I know you got it in you!
11# Follow through
It is possible to turn on the lady even more during the act. Build up a rhythm, an ache that you need to fulfil. Go from slow to fast, not the other way round. If she is into it, she can stimulate herself while you are doing your job. Let her come once more. The last orgasm is one’s own responsibility. Work towards yours and ask her to work towards herS.
Dads, sex need not be dull and mundane. Remember, if you do it right, you should be doing it for the next 40-50 years. So keep it sizzling!
This article was first published on AfricaParent.com